


What If? (DISCONTINUED)

by HolyKingWasteLand



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AU: Connor is alive, Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Dear Evan Hansen keeps me going, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, M/M, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, Tree Bros, best friends to boyfriends, best friends to girlfriends, dont hate, maybe add more later, my boys - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 02:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyKingWasteLand/pseuds/HolyKingWasteLand
Summary: What if Connor never read Evan's note?What if they became friends?What if they became something.. more?





	What If? (DISCONTINUED)

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy,  
> Y'all can call me Akky or Akron.  
> This is my first work on here and also in the DEH fandom so please don't be too harsh ^^;  
> Constructive criticism is welcome!!  
> Thank you~

**Computer Lab**  
**Monday 7th September  
8:52 am**

Evan picks up his sheet of printed paper and carefully slides it into his backpack, careful not to rip it.

"So, what happened to your arm?" Evan yelps and ends up shoving the paper in too quickly, crushing it, and turns around to face the tall boy behind him.

"I-I-I- I'm sorry, what?" Evan stutters, backpack completely forgotten on the floor. The boy- who turned out to be the school bully; Connor Murphy -looks at him with a raised eyebrow, almost judging.

"I said," Connor started again, "What happened to your arm?"

"Oh, I-I um.. I fell out of a tree actually." Evan mumbled, eyes darting around the male in front of him, searching for an exit.

Connor laughs, seeming startled, "You fell out of a tree? That is just-" He takes a second to snicker, "the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard. Oh my _god_."

Evan tries to laugh along with him nervously, he says a soft "I know". Connor's laughter fades out as he takes notice of Evan's white cast.

"No one's signed your cast," He says, like he's almost surprised.

Evan looks down at his own arm and shrugs softly, "Oh no, I know." Connor's face seems serious and he suddenly speaks, making Evan freeze.

"I'll sign it."

"Oh- um you... you don't have to-" He begins stuttering again, wanting this exchange to end right now.

"Do you have a sharpie?" Connor asks with an expression Evan's never seen on him, it's soft, almost pleading. Almost.

Evan blinks out of his shocked stupor and mumbles a soft "yeah.." before reaching into his backpack and taking out a black sharpie his mom had forced him to take. He hands it over to the tall boy and Connor gently lifts up Evan's arm, careful not to hurt him.

_Now that was a shock and a half._

Connor signs the cast with his first name in giant bold letters. "There," He says with a faint, almost non existent, smile. Or maybe it could be classified as a smirk? Evan wasn't sure.

"Oh, great- thanks." Evan says with an uneasy smile, taking back the outstretched sharpie.

Connor instantly fell back into his poker-face front and says, "Now we can both pretend that we have friends."

Evan swallows and quickly responds, "Good point,"

 

....

"Well I should get going-" Connor says nonchalantly, throwing a thumb over his shoulder, pointing to the nearest exit.

"Y-yeah of course-" Evan stutters, zipping up his backpack and slides his arms through the loops.

Connor looks at Evan for a moment, not speaking, before his face breaks out into a smirk, "You're so weird Hansen. Later," He salutes Evan with two fingers and walks out of the computer lab.

"B-bye.." Evan barely whispers, still shocked at how _nice_ Connor's smile was, and at the fact that he wanted to see it again and again.

He raises his hands to smack his cheeks and mumbles angrily, "Stop that Evan."

A guy sitting at a computer a little ways away gives him a weird look. Evan clears his throat and gives an awkward wave, and a little "sorry".

"What is wrong with me?" He mutters to himself, suddenly thinking about how pretty Connor's eyes were when he smiled, and they creased and- _okay stop_.

 

 

**East Hallway  
2 pm**

Evan walked through the semi-crowded hallway, heading to his last period [Science] when he sees Connor heading towards him. He ducks his head slightly and avoids eye contact as they get closer.

He feels a tap on his chest as Connor passes him and he glances up at the boy, noticing that Connor hasn't stopped walking.

He looks down at his chest where Connor had touched him and notices a bright yellow post-it note with writing on it. He peals it off and reads the minimal text.

 _'Meet me outside after school._  
_-C'_

Well that wasn't scary at all.

Swallowing down his nerves for the time-being he continued on towards his class.

 

**Outside the Gates**   
**3 pm**

Evan stands awkwardly beside the gates as kids flood out of them, some heading to the busses, others towards their respective cars, or simply down the sidewalk. As he stands and watches his surroundings, he feels a nudge against his good arm and flinches away instinctively.

"Whoa dude chill, it's me." A familiar voice says, amused.

He turns towards the voice and sees Connor standing there in all his glory, hands in his jacket pockets, long brown hair swept to the sides, a playful smirk on his face.

"C-Connor- hey," Evan tries to fake nonchalance as he straightens up with an uneasy smile.

"Hansen," Connor greets with a nod and then pulls his hands out of his pockets and crosses them over his chest. "Okay I'm gonna be frank with you. I promised my mom I'd try to make a friend and bring them over for a..." He seems to cringe before making quotation marks with his fingers.

" _Play date,_ " And Evan also cringes slightly at the word he hasn't used since he was a kid.

"So... did you.." Connor huffs like asking this is the hardest thing in the world. "Did you wanna come over for a bit, just to appease my mother?"

Evan sort of freezes at the question and notices how Connor is fidgeting, now _that_ was a sight to behold.

"A-are you sure?" The words seem to come out on their own. "I mean- I-I'd be happy to but- me?" There was a lot of self deprecation behind those words and Connor seems to either not notice or ignore them with his cocky smirk facade up once again.

"So it's settled, you've got nothing on tonight right? You can just like.. text your parents that you'll be home later?" Connor asks, seemingly enjoying Evan's awkwardness.

"Y-yes!" He squeaks and then blushes, embarrassed. This brings a laugh out of the taller male.

"Did you just-" Connor starts to ask but gets swallowed up in his laughter once again. People around them start looking and Evan hides his warm face in his hands.

"You just- just _squeaked!_ Oh my god-" He cracks up again and wheezes out, "That was so fucking _adorable-_  holy shit-"

Evan wishes for the floor to open up and swallow him up.

Connor laughs for a bit longer and then calms down, wiping away a stray tear from his eye. "Priceless," He sighs with a grin. "Anyway let's go,"

 

The walk to Connor's house was nothing short of awkward.

Although the walk was quite short, not much was said and they walked in complete silence (apart from the cars and other imposing noises).

Finally, they reach Connor's home and there's a car in the driveway.

Connor opens the door, letting Evan in first.

"I'm home!" Connor shouts as he walks in and shuts the door behind them, pulling off his shoes, and motions for Evan to do the same. They take off their sneakers and hear a reply from somewhere in the house. "Welcome home Connor!" It sounds like a woman, Connor's mother perhaps?

They walk through the house, Connor leading the way and they wind up in the kitchen. The woman has shoulder length strawberry blonde hair and is putting something in the oven. She stands up and turns around with a smile, then notices Evan and her eyes widen in surprise.

"Mom, this is my friend Evan Hansen," Connor motions to Evan and then back to his mother. "Evan this is my mom, Cynthia." So it is his mom.

Evan holds his hand out and Cynthia shakes it with a smile. "It's a pleasure Mrs. Murphy,"

 "And you're.. Connor's friend?" Connor's mom asks and Evan nods with a convincing smile.

"That's right, your son is- charming," Evan only has a second to think up a compliment and finally settles on that one. He mentally face-palms.

Cynthia seems happy with his response and lets them go up to Connor's room with a quick kiss to Connor's temple, making him ruffle up like baby bird would, if he had any feathers.

Connor opens the door to his room and walks in, Evan following after him. As he enters he gets hit by the smell of... Roses? He looks towards the window and notices a vase holding a bouquet of black roses.

"From my sister," Connor informs, taking a seat on his messy unmade bed.

Evan looks at the flowers in confusion and then looks to Connor, "But.. Black roses symbolise death or extreme hatred," He says, standing in front of them, softly touching the leaves. "They're new."

Connor is silent for a beat. "Yeah well, we don't exactly get along." He says, a hint of venom in his tone.

The shorter boy looks from the flowers to Connor's bedroom, where he can see that the primary colouring is black, white and dark colours. "It fits the aesthetic of your room." Evan notes, his eyes still taking everything in.

Connor huffs out a soft laugh, "Yeah I guess it does. You can put your bag down you know," He says, motioning to a clear part of the floor.

"Oh thanks," Evan slips his backpack off of his shoulders and onto the floor, then stands around looking lost.

The tall male pats the space on the bed beside him with a soft smirk, "I'm not gonna bite, you don't have to be so scared Hansen."

Evan's back straightens and he squeaks out, "I-I know that! And I'm not sca-scared!"

This seems to make Connor even more amused, "Really? Then why do you keep stuttering?" He asks, an eyebrow raised.

"I d-don't!" Evan's mouth seemed to betray him and he blinks out of eye contact with the other male.

Connor laughs and leans back on his hands, "Calm down Hansen, I'm just messing with ya."

Evan's eyebrows furrow and he looks to Connor again.

"And why do you keep calling me 'Hansen' I have a first name you know," Evan informs him with a hand against his hip, all fear miraculously gone.

The tall male just shrugs and stands up, making Evan trip backwards and fall on his butt. "Ow..." Evan mumbles, rubbing the top of his tailbone.

"Oh my god- dude you okay?" Connor asks, concern lacing his features as he kneels in front of him.

Evan nods with a wince. "Yeah, I'm fine," He replies covering his pain with a soft smile.

Connor helps Evan back onto his feet and then crosses the room to the window with the roses. "You wanna hang out on the roof?" Connor asks as he climbs out of the window, the question seemingly meaningless.

"Uh- Are you sure that's safe?" Evan asks, walking closer to see Connor about to jump and grab a bit of the roof.

The male in question turns back to him with a deadpan expression that screams "really?".

"I do this everyday, you'll live." Connor replies coolly, taking the leap of faith before Evan can stop him.

Evan gasps and looks away, scared for his friend. His friend? Since when were they-

"Yo Hansen, look I'm alive," Evan looks over once again and sees Connor pulling himself onto the roof.

The anxious, smaller male walks over to the window and sees Connor looking down at him with an encouraging thumbs up and smirk.

He climbs onto the tabletop and then onto the windowsill, still unsure about this whole thing. He puts his hands on the sides of the window and stands up to the best of his ability.

"You're doing great, now jump." Connor encourages, beckoning him with his hands. Evan looks down and sees how far away the ground is-

_Suddenly it's dark and raining. It's before dawn and he's in the forest looking down at the ground from up on a branch._

_The wind is howling in his ears and the sun is barely peaking around the_ _horizon._

_Evan takes a deep breath and-_

"HANSEN!" A voice snaps him out of his head and suddenly it's bright again and his foot is dangling over the edge of the sill. He looks up and sees Connor's concerned face. "Dude, you okay? Your eyes- they like clouded over or something-"

"I-I'm fine!" Evan says and then gets ready to jump.

He crouches down and then goes for it. His hands grab onto the roof but one of them slips and in a flash of half a second, Connor is in front of him and has hold of his hand.

"Okay now climb-" And he does. Connor helps as he lifts himself onto the roof and they climb up away from the ledge. Evan is breathing heavily- although it doesn't feel like he's getting any air in.

_Heavy._

Connor takes notice of this.

_Can't breathe._

"Hey hey, look at me," Connor says sternly, clicking in Evan's face. Evan quickly meets Connor's eyes as he breathes shakily. "Good, you're okay, you're fine." He grabs Evan's hand and puts it up against his chest, where Evan can feel Connor's even breaths.

_Help._

"Now copy my breathing, you're good, totally fine. That was scary for someone who's never done it, you're alright." Connor soothes, fixing Evan's messy hair softly.

Evan's breathing starts to regulate but is still shaky and he's annoyed at himself for that.

"It's okay, perfectly normal fight or flight response Hansen," Connor just seems to know what he's thinking.

_Lighter._

"B-but-" Evan tries to cut in.

_Breathing._

"Shh, just breathe for a minute." Connor hushes and scoots closer to him, letting him rest his head against his shoulder. This was the gentlest Evan has  _ever_ seen Connor act.. It was nice.

_I'm okay._

"You good?" Connor asks softly after a few minutes of silence and breathing. Evan nods against his shoulder and slowly sits up straight again.

"Yeah-" Evan clears his throat with a warm glow on his cheeks. "Yeah thanks."

Connor just nods once and turns to face the view.

There are tall, towering trees in the distance. Along with families at a park nearby, cars and vehicles speed down the street with loud hums of the engines. Houses, some with their curtains drawn, and others with their's open, there's a brother and sister dancing in the living room while their family records. Maybe a birthday? They could be twins, or just dancing for the fun of it.

That's what swallows Evan up whole, the fact that there are so many people out there living their lives and he has no idea.

"Hey Connor?"

Connor turns towards Evan with a glowing smile, "Yeah?"

"Are we.. are we friends?" Evan asks, not meeting Connor's eyes. But if he were looking, he'd take notice of how Connor's eyes widened slightly and his smile grew twice its size.

"I.. I'd say so after what just happened," Connor says playfully, nudging Evan with his elbow.

That makes Evan break out into a laugh. Which in turn makes Connor chuckle.

Evan finally meets his eyes, a strong blush present, a sweet smile mirrored on his own face.

 

"..I'm glad!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr!](https://holykingwasteland.tumblr.com/)


End file.
